How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
