You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
