Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
