just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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