I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
