Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Enjoy the penises
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
