just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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