Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
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And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
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We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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