Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
