the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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