my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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