my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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