I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
its not stalking. its research.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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