I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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