I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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