At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
