We're facebook friends in real life
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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