ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
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Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
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I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
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