come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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