enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Randomize
