I only kidnapped one of them. chill
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
