come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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