I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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