my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
