he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Randomize
