can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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