Your face is a jimmy john
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Pants are for mortals
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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