She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
