oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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