If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
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just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
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Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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