nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
