Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
