I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
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