I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
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