A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
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