so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
This is the high leading the old right now
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
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