ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
