Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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