oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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