you would pick up someone in the library
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize
