i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
