I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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