If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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