i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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