Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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