I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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