in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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