I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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