BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
