Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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