Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize