I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
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