omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I'm really busy with my period
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