im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
