Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
