READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
