I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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