I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
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