I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
