I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
