come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
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I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
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You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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