I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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