so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
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No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
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Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
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