i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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