oh god the rape fog is back!
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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