you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize
