Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
